Hello readers!....Not as catchy as "HI listeners", eh? But that's enough references to my podcasts for one blog - some would argue more than enough. Followers of this challenge from day 1 will be happy to find out that I ordered Sum 41's "Does This Look Infected?" earlier today, so Amazon will be posting a parcel full of nostalgia my way. I am genuinely excited to hear it again. Anyways; welcome to day 3 of the blogging challenge! Today's subject is...
WORK. As in, jobs and workplace antics and...stuff.
I haven't been that successful in the world of employment; in 2010/2011, I applied for over 150 jobs, and only got 3 interviews: Boots (a Christmas job), a local garden centre assistant, and a call centre. For the Boots interview, I had the indignity of having to - as part of the interview - stand behind the counter, and bag up some customers' purchases, as a trial. To prove I can put things in a fucking carrier bag. The biggest insult? I didn't get the job.
As part of an internship arranged for me by a friend's Mum, I worked for 2 weeks as a caretaker's assistant at a school; I remember one occasion where I had to stir some paint, and one of the caretakers - Barry, a man in his 60s - said "I have something you can stir it with", and gestured towards his groin area. I don't know if he always stirs paint with his penis, though "I'll give you a lick of paint" would be a pretty interesting euphemism for a sexual act.
The only other job I had - also as part of the internship -was working in an office; it wasn't well paid, at only £2.50 an hour, but it was more than appreciated, for I was otherwise only getting a paltry £51 a week from the JobCentre. I recall one occasion where I got into the office at 9am, and was reprimanded for not turning up on time - I was supposed to turn up "ready for 9am". I can vividly remember walking into the kitchen area of the office, just standing there, deliberately not doing anything, counting up to 15 seconds, and then thinking to myself in a grumpy tone "Yeah! Take that, THE MAN! I just earned 1p for doing nothing. Take that! Why do I have to turn up early for this? I just did nothing for 15 seconds, and it doesn't matter"...When you're doing a low-paid job you don't really enjoy, you have to take the tiniest of victories.
On a similar note, it is amazing to go into a toilet at work, have a wank, and think "I BLOODY GOT PAID FOR THAT! I AM A PROFESSIONAL WANKER!"...Just me? Maybe I won't share the blog on Facebook today. I spent over a year of my life unemployed, unable to get a job. Who'd have thought it?
Amy has already told me that her work stories "will make you laugh, cry and maybe throw up", so be sure to check out her blog entry for today. PDT can make anything funny, too, so have a gander at his blog. It would be ironic if he couldn't do an entry today because of having too much work to do, of course..
See you tomorrow!
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