Blogging Challenge Day 5: The Future

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Welcome to Day 5 of the blogging challenge! Today's topic is THE FUTURE*.

*Ironically, this was written in THE PAST. HAHA. Hilarious.

Where do I want to be in the future?

This is a strange one; I am a 20-year old man. However, I don't act like it...

• In the past 2 days, I have had 2 gingerbread men.
• Every Friday, I listen to Rebecca Black's Friday.
• In the past month, I have watched numerous episodes of Winnie the Pooh on YouTube, genuinely loving every minute of most episodes.
• A few weeks ago, I sat in the pub on my own and thought to myself "wouldn't it be funny if I sung the chorus to 'Build Me Up Buttercup', on repeat, for 10 whole minutes?"...I did this, often laughing through the lyrics to myself. At one point, I received a phone call from my friend Chris Catapult, and I was singing the chorus down the phone to him for 40 seconds, at which point he hung up. This is made even funnier by the fact I don't know Mr. Catapult that well, and it was the first - and so far only - time he has called me. I should say this isn't his real name, but I always call him "Chris Catapult", simply because I find it funny. 
• I think what sums it up is the fact that me and my 20 year-old friend, Matt Williams, still say the phrase "when I grow up" in a completely non-ironic fashion. In my mind, I'm still a teenager. 

I have always envisaged myself as the type of person who would never get married or have kids; partly due to insecurity, perhaps - thinking "oh, who would marry this man who loves gingerbread men more than wine?" - but it is mainly due to the fact that I am just not bothered by it all, quite frankly. I know some people who were sure they wanted to get married and have 3 children when they were 15, but I have never seen it as a personal goal. My favourite comedians are Richard Herring, Ray Peacock and Jon Richardson - they are 45, 37, and 30, respectively, and none of them have any children. Only the former is married - and only tied the knot earlier this year. Although it wasn't at all a conscious decision to make these my favourites for this reason, of course, it only adds fuel to my "let's not get married" fire. There is a great moment in Richard Herring's stand-up show "The Headmaster's Son", where he talks to his 39 year-old self as his 16-year old self. The 39 year-old self is feeling down about the fact he is single and hasn't got married, but his 16 year-old self says to him "look what you've achieved. This is all you ever wanted" - I can't help but feel I am similar. I don't want marriage, or children. Who knows, maybe one day, if I meet the right person, that is what I - or we, I should say -  will desire, but right now, if someone said "I can make it so by the age of 30 you'll have created wonderfully written pieces of work that you are proud of, that have made people happy and have gained critical acclaim....but you'll be single at 30", I'd accept it in a heart-beat.

This isn't to say I wouldn't like companionship in between now and 30, of course - I just cannot fathom the idea of having children and being married, I have never been able to. I don't think I'll get married; I think of things in a very modern way, and pretty much see the idea of a big wedding as a massive waste of money.

OOOOHHH I'M SO ROMANTIC!

I'd much rather go on a really expensive holiday, or pay to have Vince Kidd do a private gig in my house. I read on Twitter the other day I can get that for £6500. Yes please. My birthday is soon, guys...

Oh...if my wife is reading this in 6 years them...erm...well, this is awkward.

What do I want to happen in the future?

This section will contain future things that I want to happen. Just a bit of fun, really.

• The Killers will wake up, realise their last 2 albums have been awful, apologise profusely, and become a great band again.
• Hank Azaria will win an Oscar for his performance as Gargamel in 'The Smurfs 2'. He will reject it, declaring his performance "too good for recognition". 
• There will be a remake of The Matrix staring Crash Bandicoot villain Neo Cortex as "The One". It'll be bloody brilliant.
• Nick Knowles will be put down.
• Chelsea will win the Champions League again. BLUE IS THE COLOUR!
• Long-hair will come into fashion the day after I finally get a hair-cut. Just my luck. :/
• A 5 ft. gingerbread man will go on sale, so my dream will finally come true.

Thanks for reading my blog! As always, go check out Amy's blog, especially if you haven't read her entry for "Day 4" - it was a wonderfully written blog. Go check it out. See you tomorrow IN THE FUTURE!