My Mum turns 50 tomorrow; I took much joy in saying to her "hey Mum, how does it feel to be in the last day of your 40s?" - making her think of it like that really seemed to hit home how much of a milestone it is. It was marvelous.
I've never been bothered about age; this is probably because, at the age of 21, I still look around 16. I still get asked for ID whenever I wish to buy an alcoholic drink at a public house where they don't know me, and - quite frankly - I still often act ridiculously childish. For example, #InitialsOfSomeoneWhoMeansSomething was trending on Twitter yesterday, so I searched for the hashtag along with either "TM" or "TJM" in the post, and out sent 37 replies just saying "Thanks", pretending I thought it was for me. I gained a few responses, including:
"well you got the Tom part right..."
"umm....not you.",
"no....."
"who are you?"
"that's for my little brother....awk"
and my favourite,
"woa... NOT YOU:/ sorry:)"
I love how the "NOT YOU" is capitalised, as if to say "the notion if it being for you is ludicrous!", but there is then an apology and a smiley face. It makes no sense!
This, ultimately, resulted in me being suspended by Twitter. I had to reactivate my account, and promise to never do it again.
But is this a problem?
To answer this, I will tell you a little bit about my Mum. Mum works part-time at a local playgroup, so gets paid to run around singing songs and making animal noises, all with elaborate actions - this is close to my dream job, let's be honest. Upon being told that my Mum was about to turn 50, a teenager who knows her through a family friend replied "really? she doesn't act 50".
Basically, my Mum is bloody awesome.
I'm never going to grow out of this silliness that emanates from me. Isn't that a lovely thought? :)
I hate Tom Mayhew. He has annoying glasses, an annoying face, and thinks he's SO cool with his big accordion.
...What? Oh, sorry. I was talking about a different Tom Mayhew - the one who is currently the most-viewed one on YouTube. Here is a video of him:
Don't worry; I didn't post his highest-viewed video here. That would be self-defeating. This is one that only has 15 views at the moment. His most-viewed video has 1128 views - my highest viewed only has 334 views. However, I achieved this in 6 months, while his view-count took him 4 years! Hopefully this means I'll eventually take-over him. I hope it really hurts him, and tears run down his annoying Tom Mayhew face.
It is one of my goals to beat this Tom Mayhew, to be the best Tom Mayhew on YouTube. But why do I want to beat him so bad, purely because he has the same name as me? Is this normal? In fairness, I'm sure everyone has searched their own name into numerous search engines to find people who have the same name as them; I know my friend Jack Crawey is currently friends on Facebook with 5 other people named Jack Crawley.
It isn't just this Tom Mayhew I hate; I also really dislike the Tom Mayhew you can find at www.twitter.com/tommayhew. Not only has he taken what would be the ideal Twitter username for me - much easier for people to remember than www.twitter.com/TomMayhew91 (FOLLOW ME EVERYONE!) - but he only has 18 followers. He's only done a measly 1 tweet, which he has protected. But this isn't even the worst thing; this Tom Mayhew is a published author. Pretty cool, huh? NO.
"But, The Real Tom Mayhew", you're thinking while reading this..."why do you hate him being an author? Isn't it also your aim to make money from writing, so surely he's something of a kindred spirit?"
In a sense, reader, you are right - I do want to make money from writing. However, I want to make money by writing exciting, interesting and intelligent writing. That makes this Tom Mayhew a nemesis, for his published book is "God's Will for the Rest of Us"; basically, him telling us what has already been written by a man thousands of years ago.
Here he is talking about The Bible, like an annoying Tom Mayhew would - feel free to watch this one, too. It only has 1 view in 1 month. Boy, he's really earned that Twitter name...
Hearing him say "I'm Tom Mayhew" genuinely sent a shiver through my body. He then says some load of nonsense about turning a job into fruit. He's confusing. GIVE ME MY NAME BACK, YOU ANNOYING MAN!
At least I am currently the most-followed Tom Mayhew on Twitter. That's something. It'll really hit home just how special that is when 2 people click the link after I post it on Twitter.
Hello! Welcome to my countdown of my top 5 songs of 2012! All but one were released in 2012, but that song was one I discovered in 2012 anyway. Plus - being released in 2011 - it's hardly from a different era of music. It needs the promotion more than the others one do, anyway, being the only independently released song on the list.
5. Nicki Minaj - Starships (Genre: Pop)
I have chosen the lyric video for this song, because the music video makes me feel ill. The song is, really, awful. It makes very little sense, shows off no musical talent...but the memories of me and my friend Matt pretending to rave while listening to this loudly in his car are some of my fondest memories of 2012. There is something about the low-quality, nonsense nature of the song that takes me back to how I enjoyed music as a child, and I enjoy it on the most basic level - enjoying it even more so because I know I shouldn't enjoy it. The fact I like something I should - and previously did - detest amuses me. 4. Swinging for Mars - Go to Hell (Genre: Rock)
This song isn't on YouTube, but you can hear it all at the above link. I like Swinging For Mars; firstly, because I know two of the members of the band (hello Rich/Joe if you're reading this!); but secondly - more importantly - they make good music. Give it a chance, eh?
3. Vince Kidd - Sick Love (Genre: Pop/R'n'B)
I have listened to this song more than any other this year; it sits on the top of my iTunes most-played list. I firstly like it because I like Vince Kidd - I love male singers who sing falsetto, and he is brilliant at it. It is also damn catchy. However, I mainly think it is notable for my 2012, because it is a highly sexually charged track. I first heard this song in April, when an unfinished version was on YouTube...and you know what? I hated it. I just felt really awkward listening to it, the confidence of it made me nervous, and I distinctly remember pressing the dislike button on the video. But now, for the song to be the most-played on my iTunes...I feel it epitomises my 2012 transition from a shy, awkward young guy to a much more confident, happy in myself person. Still a bit awkward, yes. But there's much more confidence in myself and my abilities. In April of 2012, I'd never had a girlfriend, and there are plenty of examples on my podcasts recorded before then where you can see I genuinely never thought I'd get one - a perfect example being one where I said "I don't want a girlfriend; girls are rubbish". It was partly a joke - pretending that being single was 100% my choice, instead of being the fact no-one was interested - but ultimately, I said that because I didn't think anyone would ever be interested, so I resigned myself to just being alone. But now? Hi, I'm Tom Mayhew. I'm really funny, kind, great company, loyal, generous and I'm not bad looking. Sure, I have annoying hair, but I also have nice skinny legs and a nice smile. I spend plenty of time after midnight playing the above song on my iPod and dancing around to it in my kitchen. I'm awesome.
2. Plan B - ill Manors (Genre: Rap)
I've loved Plan B for a long time - his soul/rap concept album, The Defamation of Strickland Banks, was my favourite album of 2010 - but it was his 2006 debut rap album that I first really enjoyed. So I was delighted to hear him return to his rappy-roots, once again tackling important social issues (in this case, the 2011 London riots) with intelligence and skillful usage of words. I also love the song because every time I hear it, I remember the time in June where I shared a live performance of it on Mairi's Facebook wall; she said she would tell me what she thought of it, to which I replied "Yes you must. In second-by-second detail". I came home from a comedy gig later that night to 219 comments on the Facebook post. I laughed. Lots. Here are some examples:
0:01 - Video started. Looking good so far.
0:04 - String instruments kicked in. I like string.
0:11 - Dramatic camera sweep. Everyone loves dramatic camera sweeps.
0:13 - Camera continues to sweep. Good sweeping action. Enjoyable.
0:21 - Words.
I find myself re-reading all the comments again right now, and I am still reduced to tears of laughter. It was just a beautifully hilarious and silly thing to do, and will forever be one of my favourites things about Mairi, and about 2012.
1. The Enemy - This Is Real (Genre: Rock)
This is my favourite song of 2012. The album was released late May, which was the time where I first met the girl who would go on to become my first girlfriend, the aforementioned Mairi. The relationship was against the odds somewhat - we lived 500 miles away from each other (she lives in Scotland; yes, I would walk 500 miles. Go tell The Proclaimers that.) This made the line "Our backs against the wall, you and me against it all" seem apt. The lyrics "love, we don't have much, but what we have's enough, just hold your head up and we'll be OK" summed up how I felt about the relationship - the circumstances weren't ideal, or perfect, but as long as we loved each-other we'd be OK. Y'know what? We were more than OK; at times, we were on top of the world, regardless of whether we were in the same room or whether we were Skyping from different countries. The best weekend of my 2012 was in Mairi's company, and there are 100s of lovely memories I have thanks to her. This song is intrinsically linked to my first ever love, so it was the only choice for my song of 2012.
There we go. These aren't necessarily my most-played songs of 2012, but when I look back on it as a year, these will be the songs that immediately spring to mind.
Thanks for indulging me - I am aware this is very self-involved. But hey; if it leads to one person discovering a new song they go on to love, it'll be worth it. Even if it doesn't, I've enjoyed going back and listening to my year's favourite songs, so NEUGH! :P
